Boring

Yeah, so even heroic measures?  Not enough.  

The techs at the lab where I go for my HCG tests know me by sight, name and type of test.  They are very kind, though I can't tell if this is because they've intuited my problem or think I'm just a potentially volatile lunatic who needs to be treated with a delicate touch lest I...well, whatever it is that lunatics do these days.

I've been experimenting with different sized needles with my heparin, trying to choose between less bruising/longer injection and more bruising/briefer injection.  Sometimes, just to mix things up, I'll use one size of needle in the morning and a different size one in the evening.  

I couldn't bring myself to buy some digital pregnancy tests for this cycle last night, even though they were on sale, because I was pretty sure that seeing the words "not pregnant" (the "you idiot" part is apparently only implied) would send me over the edge.

I did, however, visibly goggle at this in the same aisle.   Seriously? 

A friend recently emailed me with her troubles getting pregnant with #2.  After several months of trying, they were going to see her doctor.  She was upset, depressed, feeling betrayed by her body--all of those things we know so well.  I spilled our recent woes,  offered support and chatted with her about the testing, and then didn't hear more for several weeks.  I emailed her again a couple of weeks ago.  She'd gone on Clomid, and surprise, surprise, her first   Clomid cycle worked.  I will be seeing her tomorrow, along with another friend who is about 33 weeks pregnant.  Awesome.

It has now been 4 unsuccessful cycles since my D & C.  We are considering IUIs if the next two cycles also fail.  

Stop me, oh oh oh, stop me, stop me if you think that you've heard this one before...

Comments

[Sara]

I didn't want to mention the blog in my earlier *discussion*. Sorry . . maybe I eluded to too much.

I wish all of this was as simple as that friggin' fertility test. Nothing should be this complicated. In the meantime, I will keep whispering my mantras of good luck for you. And me.

[Heather]

So sorry. That really sucks. Great song reference though.

[steph]

I wish it was easier for you this time. I'm so sorry that it's not.

[Dead Bug]

Oh, man. I am sorry, and I'm finding it profoundly irritating and just plain UNFAIR that this isn't easier for you.

Sending you love,
L

[T]

Is it sick that I want to do one of these fsh tests?

I'm sorry the herculean efforts didn't pan out and um, the lunch? OUCH! I hope it went ok.