Do over

Last year, when Andrew started preschool, I was beyond excited.  I knew he would love school, and I had such golden memories of that time in my own life.  It was one of those things that I'd been looking forward to most about having kids:  bringing snack, packing his lunch for Lunch Bunch, going to school holiday parties, watching him make friends. 

Unfortunately, all year, it seemed,  I was The Loser Mom:  I forgot about school picture day; I had to race to pick him up on time nearly every day; I forgot we were supposed to bring snack and had to quickly go buy pricey snacks from the Whole Foods nearby; although I remembered to bring his jacket, I hadn't written his name in it; I could never remember the other parents' names and seemed to mix up other kids constantly.

Part of the problem also included one of Andrew's teachers, Anna--the school director, a woman in her 50s, great with the kids, but as became apparent throughout the year, not so good with the parents.  She was impressively rigid, with a fantastic gift for making me feel like I was doing everything wrong. 

We got off on the wrong foot when she told me that my (then) not-yet-potty-trained son could not do the extended care I'd planned to have him do, the two hours of care I absolutely needed to have for my work schedule.  She dropped that bombshell on me the night of the Open House, two days before he was to start classes.  On the first day of school, I persuaded her that it was a non-issue, and Andrew went ahead and attended, but that got us off to a bad start.  (Seriously, if your only written school policy on extended care says:  "All children are welcome to attend!", what makes you think  it's okay to tell a parent the night before school starts that, in fact, her child is NOT welcome to attend?)

It didn't help that throughout the year, she greeted me with friendly little reminders about everything I'd done wrong.  On the next-to-last day of school, for the very first time, I forgot to sign him out of extended care.  The next day, signing him in, I apologized to the person who had been in charge.  She laughed it off, and told me it was no problem.  I took A. to his class, and as I was heading out, Anna stopped me: "You forgot to sign him out yesterday.  Make sure you do it today." 

So when I found out that Anna was resigning from her position, I was a bit giddy.  I had noticed, when I was filling out a year-end evaluation, that in addition to my own personal Loser Mom failings,  many of those things I'd hoped for had never come to fruition:  there were no field trips, the Thanksgiving party totally left the younger kids out of the festivities, there was no parent group (like a PTA), and I never felt like I fully fit in.  Andrew loved his classmates and the activities, and even liked his teachers (though he confided in me that he liked the other teacher a LOT more than he liked Anna), but I just wasn't feeling like the experience was what I wanted it to be. 

This year, though, we have a new director, and I am very hopeful.  It's Andrew's music teacher from last year; as she taught him the delightful "Higgeldy piggeldy, bumblebee" and "Skinamarinky dinky dink" songs, she is already one of my favorite people.  Already, it seems, she is returning some joy to the school.  They've restored a patio for a tricycle area; they've started up a parents' organization; they are doing a really neat photography project with a local studio. 

So, once again, this year I am excited about Andrew starting school on Monday--about him seeing old friends and learning new things, and about the possibility of maybe, just maybe, getting a do-over on this whole Preschool Loser Mom thing.  

Comments

[MsPrufrock]

Hi, I think we're the same Mum! The head of P's nursery is EXACTLY the same as Anna too, and she only guilt trips me, not my husband.

I'm absent-minded at the best of times, so P in school really tries my abilities to recall to do everything on time and correctly.

It sounds like this year will be vastly better for Andrew, and surely you as well!

[Heather]

Hooray for a new director! I loved the director at our daughter's preschool. She really set a great tone for the school. Today our daughter now starts 3rd grade! Where has time gone????